5-Bullet Friday: Parshas Vayeitzei

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5-Bullet Friday

This week is Parshas Vayeitzei! Check out this week's d'var torah here.

Here is this week's 5-Bullet Friday:

• Question I'm pondering: Double or nothing? Rashi (28:12) writes that the malachim of Eretz Yisroel first ascended the ladder before the others descended. Shouldn’t it have been the opposite in order for Yaakov avinu not to be left alone even for a moment without “protection”?

• Concept I am considering: Share share, that’s fair. The mishna in Peah (6:1) brings a machlokes between Beis Hillel and Beis Shammai regarding being mafkir produce. Beis Shammai maintain that renouncing ownership in favor of the poor is considered heker whereas Beis Hillel hold that it is not considered a valid renunciation of ownership unless it is declared ownerless for everyone (both rich and poor). The nafka minah (practical difference) being whether the renounced produce would be subject to terumos and maasros. Beis Shammi consider the qualified renunciation to be sufficient to receive the “tax benefits”, whereas Beis Hillel maintain that if if it’s not available for everyone, it cannot be considered hefker.

• Hashkafic idea I'm reflecting on: Call a spade a spade: Identity vs. Identify (identification). The definition of Identity is “the fact of being who or what a person or thing is” whereas the definition of Identify is (1) establish or indicate who or what (someone or something) is; (2) associate (someone) closely with; regard (someone) as having strong links with”. The two words mean different things; one is objective, one is subjective. One is a truth, one is a belief. Without core identities, identifications cannot exist. Without defined objective identities there are no clear responsibilities. Let’s not question identities and pretend we are questioning identifications. One should first work on understanding one’s identity and improving oneself to that effect. Only then, could one honestly and correctly, choose the subculture with which to identify. Are there any things you know are questioned in the name of identification, when really it is an incorrect questioning of “identitication” (something which is not a word because it inherently does not exist)?

• Middah on my mind: Hakaras ha’tov and Hoda’ah. Rav Dessler, in his sefer Michtav M’Eliyahu writes that what drives people to be thankful or not ultimately depends on the character of the person, namely if the person is a nosein (giver) or a noteil (taker). The nosein is someone who inherently wants to give. These people do not like to receive gifts but when they do receive gifts, their gut reaction is to channel their middah of giving in the direction of the one they just received from in an attempt to return the favor, and until they do they have a lingering feeling of indebtedness. The noteil on the other hand is someone who inherently believes that he is G-d’s gift to humanity and that he is entitled to everything; whether gifts he receives or even if he steals, it is all in the mindset that it was meant for him. Such a person, even if he may say what looks and sounds like a genuine “thank you”, it is in reality a form of flattery and deep down is only being said with the intention that it will get him more. So indeed there are two clear “levels” of giving thanks. 1. Non-genuine thanks which is lip-service at best and flattery at worst. 2. Genuine thanks stemming from an automatic sense of indebtedness towards someone who just did a good thing for you. However, I think there is an even higher 3rd form of thanks which is beyond a recognition of good, but is instead a recognition of dependence. When we recite modeh ani, bring a karbon todah, make a seudas hoda’ah, and recite al hanisim and modim we are saying more than even the thanks which is a sense of indebtedness, we are saying “modeh” meaning, admit. We are declaring an admittance that our experience is one that is totally and completely reliant and dependent on Hashem. From the basic idea of being able to wake up in the morning, we proudly admit that our very existence is fully empowered by Hashem. In the parsha we find that after Leah had three children she named the fourth one Yehuda. The meforshim explain that she knew with ruach hakodesh that 12 shevatim were to be born to Yaakov. There were four wives so it would stand to reason that each wife would merit to have 3 children. Of course Leah was thankful for her first three children, and in a sense the names she gave them indicated her happiness and thankfulness. She was certainly a nosein personality and was thankful and indebted for all that Hashem had provided. However, when she had her fourth son - that son was named Yehuda, as she said, “This time I will be ‘odeh’ Hashem...” Leah understood at this point that more than just being thankful for goodness, this was an existence that Hashem willed to be. Let us work on achieve these higher forms of thanks: #1 - A sense of hakaras hatov when others do kindness for us, a real feeling of indebtedness while forfeiting any ideas of entitlement; and #2 - Recognizing that the real way we thank Hashem (and others) is by humbly admitting necessary reliance.

• Part of Tefillah I'm concentrating on: Modeh ani. Back to basics I suppose, but in-line with the middah on my mind. When we say modeh ani we are doing more than expressing thanks to Hashem; we are in fact humbly *admitting* that our daily existence is completely reliant and dependent on Hashem.

What's on your mind? 

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

P.S:

• Completely random thought I'm thinking about: Topology. I was speaking to someone this week about Topology - an area of mathematics dealing with the properties of space that are preserved under continuous deformations such as stretching, twisting, crumpling, and bending, but not tearing or gluing. Challenge #1: Do you have a goal that is constantly on your mind but there are so many details attached that get in the way of you accomplishing the goal? Separate the important details from the unimportant ones. Take the time to clearly understand what the core goal is and which, if any, of its details are really relevant to it. For example, if the goal is to have a proverbial topological sphere, it would be a waste of time to look at the ball and worry if the lacing should be red (baseball) or white (football). Challenge #2: Think deeply regarding identities before getting caught up with identifications. View yourself as an individual with core qualities, strengths, and weaknesses in both the physical and metaphysical senses. Only after understanding your “topological self” should you explore the different shapes and sizes you could potentially apply yourself to. However, b’derech moshol, to try to turn a baseball into a donut would be a topological impossibility (for a hole cannot be poked, and two ends could not be glued together) as it would be a pointless mission to change an identity.

Have comments or thoughts on this week's bullets? Have other random thoughts on your mind? Send an email to torahparallels@gmail.com. Thank you!