5-Bullet Friday: Parshas Toldos

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5-Bullet Friday

This week is Parshas Toldos! Check out this week's d'var torah here.

Here is this week's 5-Bullet Friday:

• Question I'm pondering: Rashi makes mention of the yeshiva of Shem v’Eiver a number of times in this week’s parsha in the context of Rivkah seeking eitzah (advice) as well as Yaakov going there to learn. Why is it that sometimes Rashi refers to it as Shem v’Eiver, sometimes just Shem, and sometimes just Eiver? 

• Concept I am considering: Wishing the best for children is a challenge to be better oneself. Rashi in this week’s parsha infers that Hashem listened to the tefillah of Yitzchak and not to that of Rivkah. Rashi famously explains that the tefillah of a tzaddik ben/bas rasha is not comparable to that of a tzaddik ben/bas tzaddik. It is not enough to give to the next generation the opportunity to become a tzaddik, rather the current generation also has to continue to grow towards tzidkus; for even a tzaddik ben rasha, even though he/she is a tzadik, is lacking compared to a tzaddik ben tzaddik. In other words, despite the maximum potential one could reach, which parents hope and pray for for their children, it still falls short compared to when the parents understand that part of the growth of their children is the continued growth of themselves. 

• Hashkafic idea I'm reflecting on: Mutual exclusivity vs. proper balance. When there are multiple things that one wants to do, it is often the response to say everything needs a proper balance; for example school and play, and work and family. However there are other things that are actually supposed to be mutually exclusive (with the challenge being to choose the right path) even though we might think that the two items are “balanceable”. Rashi relates that Shem told Rivkah with ruach ha’kodesh regarding Yaakov and Eisav that, “They shall not be equal in greatness; when this one rises, the other one falls”. Even before their birth, Yaakov and Eisav - both physically and philosophically -  were mutually exclusive, not two ideas or mindsets that could be balanced. Are there any things that you know are rationalized with "proper balance" when the correct reaction should be "mutual exclusivity"?

• Middah on my mind: Taivah. Eisav in so many ways represents pure taivah in every way. From the story with the lentils (“Pour into me now some of that very red stuff…!”) to the list of aveiros that the Gemara (Bava Basra 16b) enumerates, Eisav was clearly someone with the exact opposite qualities of a ba’al middos in the sense that he was anything but in control of himself. He was someone who allowed his middos (and bad ones at that) rule over him. The mishna in Avos (4:28) quotes Rebbe Elazar HaKappar as saying that taivah (along with kinnah and kavod) remove a person from the world. These middos not only remove a person from the relevant spiritual worlds but even from having true enjoyment in this world. 

• Part of Tefillah I'm concentrating on: I have light and darkness on my mind as Chodesh Kislev is now here and Chanuka menorahs will soon be in the windows lighting up the long, dark nights. So I am thinking about the opening bracha in birkas kriyas shema shel shacharis of “yotzer ohr u’vorei choshech”. Contrary to the beliefs of pagan religions, there are not two gods with exclusive reign - one over light/good and one of darkness/evil - rather, as we declare in this bracha, Hashem is the source for all that occurs. The wording of the bracha is attributed to parallel the passuk in Yeshaya (45:7) which actually refers to light and darkness as two sides to the same coin. Often, what may look like bad for one, could really be good for him or necessary in order to do a good for someone else. We must understand that there is a much larger picture of hashgacha p’ratis and ultimately everything Hashem does is, by definition, good. However, in addition to a “created purposeful darkness”, there is also a darkness which is created by lack of light. This type of darkness is one that often surrounds us but is able to be pushed away and kept at bay as long as we remain strong with our flame - “me’at ohr docheh harbeh choshech”. Therefore we must always keep in mind that we bear responsibility for keeping that flame running.. Any amount of darkness that seeps in is ultimately a result of the flame lessening. We have to own our flames and constantly fuel it; that is the only way to keep out the darkness. 

What's on your mind? 

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

P.S:

• Completely random thought I'm thinking about: Look at things from a different angle. Literally. I was speaking to someone this week about how they approach checking work for accuracy in school. He responded that for math problems, he checks his work by going backwards - i.e, by starting from his derived answer and working his way back through the steps vs. doing the problem again. He reasoned that this was to ensure that he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice while following through the same process. I asked what about non-math problems such as essay writing, to which he replied the same answer. Reviewing an essay from the conclusion backwards causes one to think if the preceding paragraph was a good lead to the one that follows. He continued to say that another method he uses is to turn his paper upside down or even orient it at a slightly different angle. Looking at things differently causes a sense of cognitive dissonance which then forces one to actively think vs. repeating routine. Challenge: Take something you’ve looked at hundreds of times before and revisit it by looking at it differently, walk the other way when taking a lap around the park, take a different door into work, school, or shul. Just don’t drive on the opposite side of the road...unless you’re in England.

Have comments or thoughts on this week's bullets? Have other random thoughts on your mind? Send an email to torahparallels@gmail.com. Thank you!