5-Bullet Friday: Parshas Yisro

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5-Bullet Friday

This week is Parshas Yisro! Check out this week's d'var torah here.

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Here is this week's 5-Bullet Friday, a quick summary of thoughts I’ve been pondering during the week:
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• Question I'm pondering (on the parsha): Which came first? When describing Moshe's two sons the Torah writes “Shem ha'echad Gershom...” and “Shem ha'echad Eliezer...” The Torah refers to them both as “The first” even though Gershom was older because Eliezer was named for an earlier event that Moshe experienced. What is the significance behind each of their names? And why were they not named “in order of events”?

• Concept I am considering: Divrei ha’rav v’divrei ha’talmud, l’divrei mee shomim? This concept literally means that if the teacher is telling you one thing and the student is telling you something else, who are you going to listen to? Thinking about this concept mostly because of its tangential relation to the hashkafic idea I’ve been thinking about (see below). Almost everyone has told a parent during their childhood as an excuse for doing something that one shouldn’t have been doing, “But my friend was doing it”. Invariably, the parent responds, “If your friend would jump off the building would you do it?” The argument back, though sarcastic, is quite sound. A friend’s advice, especially if it counters common sense or morals, is not the end all and be all. One has to filter through one’s values and make sure that the suggestion passes with flying colors. The same is true with the concept of Divrei Ha’Rav…. At the end of the day we are held accountable by the Torah. If someone is suggesting something that is contrary to the Torah, Halacha,or Da’as Torah then it is ultimately our responsibility to recognize that and avoid it

• Hashkafic idea I'm reflecting on: Delegation or elimination? Yisro came to join B’nei Yisroel in the midbar after hearing the events of kriyas Yam Suf and malchemees Amalek, and as an outsider spotted an inefficiency in the way Moshe was running things. He watched as Moshe sat and and endless line of B’nei Yisroel stood waiting to ask him their shailos. Despite Moshe’s explanation as to why this was a valid approach, Yisro further asserted that Moshe’s time be reserved for those who truly needed him while others could resolve their perhaps more simple issues with appointed members of lower courts. Yisro’s idea certainly seems logical, and the “chain of command” approach with things escalating to the more experienced only when necessary is the number one way to achieve scalability. However it is curious that not only did Moshe not think of it and implement it himself, and not only did Moshe have a discussion with Yisro about it (vs saying “Wow, that’s exactly what we need I should’ve thought of it!”, Moshe even rebuked B’nei Yisroel for expressing interest in such a bureaucracy (Devarim 1:14). Rashi there details that Moshe said to them that they should have replied, “Moshe rabbeinu! From whom is it proper to learn, from you or from your talmidim? Is it not better to learn from you…” Rashi continues to explain that Moshe went further and said that some of them might have even had bad intentions hoping that they would be able to bribe judges, but either way the point remains that Moshe felt strongly that despite the discomfort of waiting on line and the ‘inefficiencies’ that Yisro witnessed, it was the most efficient way to achieve the high quality berachos or teshuvos that they were looking for. The comfort of being able to delegate does not necessarily win over the risk of eliminating interactions with Moshe Rabbeinu. Think about it: When it comes to our spiritual growth there is no room for compromise. Perhaps there are times and places in our lives for chains of commands, however if when we call our phone providers or healthcare providers and demand that we be put through to supervisors and up the chain of command to get best quality service, then how much more so must we evaluate the service we provide ourselves for our spiritual growth and make sure that we don’t rationalize for ourselves and don’t look for comfort over quality. 

• Middah on my mind: Kinnah/Jealousy. The last of the Aseres Ha’dibros is “Lo Sachmod…” and the mitzvah within the dibros gives specific examples of things not to be jealous of. There is plenty to talk about in terms of the middah of kinnah and distinctions that need to be made between being jealous and simply liking something that someone else has and wanting to get one for oneself. There are specific halachos that guide the issur of lo sachmod, and distinguish between that specific feeling and others. I would like to instead focus on the middah more broadly and the idea of controlling the middah of kinnah. The Ibn Ezra writes that many people wonder when it comes to this issur, that it seems like it is an unfair ask. After all, we are not expected to walk around with our eyes closed, we are certainly exposed to the world around us and are aware of others’ capabilities and possessions. If so, if I see my friend has something, whether it be a nice house or car, intelligence, money, etc. how is it possible that there not be a sense of jealousy? It is in our nature to achieve and when we see others have things that we want but do not have it is almost impossible not to feel jealous. Therefore, the way not to feel jealousy in such circumstances is to train yourself to really understand what you are looking at. When we see others who are richer or smarter or have things that we do not, the way not to feel jealous is to come to terms with the fact that his position is not necessarily shayach (applicable) to you. The Ibn Ezra gives an example of a bird. When we see birds flying around we may wonder what it would be like to fly but we aren’t jealous of the bird that it could fly because we are are not birds, do not have wings, and understand that that it is not a capability we were provided with. The same thing when it comes to other people. It may be true that we are all ‘one species’ but Hashem runs the world with hashgacha p’ratis and provides each individual with the specific things they need in this world whether it be to accomplish their purpose here or to act as a nisayon (or likely, both). 

• Part of Tefillah I'm concentrating on: Birkas Ha’torah. In this week’s parsha we experienced ma’amad Har Sinai and the Aseres Ha’dibros. Hashem revealed Himself to us at Har Sinai; it was a proverbial book signing event where Hashem is the Author and the Torah is His Book. The Torah means everything to us and we abide by its guidance and laws to direct our everyday lives. When we make Birkas Ha’Torah in the morning we are thankful and acknowledge that Hashem chose us as His people and daven that He help us experience the sweetness of Torah, not just for ourselves but to continue for generations. This b’racha “covers” any learning we might do during the course of the day, despite the fact that most of us are not learning every moment and one would therefore think that it would be considered a hefsek (interruption) and would prompt a new b’racha when sitting back down to learn. The reason for this is because in one way or another we are constantly thinking about learning and halachas throughout the day. From tying shoes in the right order to thinking about b’rachos on food, the Torah’s guidance penetrates practically every area of life.

What's on your mind? 

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

P.S:

• Completely random thought I'm thinking about: Deep work and focus. Deep work is a terminology introduced by author Cal Newport, to describe a scenario of working with zero distractions. Yep – zero. Imagine working on a task without any distraction. Hopefully you weren’t distracted trying to think about not being distracted. The world around us is constantly lighting up, vibrating, and making sounds for our attention and has become a pace and environment that we not only expect but perhaps even feel more comfortable in. A few minutes without our phone in our hands or a quiet car ride or walk without listening to music or texting seems awkward and ironically unnatural. These habits cause us to search for distractions and feel busy even at times when we are free and available. Concentrating on a task at hand can range from completing a job at work, finishing a chore at home, focusing on learning, or being present at family time. There are many steps one could begin to take to achieve a higher degree of focus and “deepness”, however along with the theme of this post, we will focus on one: One task at a time. That’s it. Every time you switch attention between tasks there is a cost. This cost is often referred to as attention residue, the persistent state of mind that one ends up in from the constant changing back and forth of a variety of tasks. Instead, when working on a task, commit a time frame for it and do nothing else but that task during that time. Knowing that the task has an end time is very helpful to mitigate the “itching feeling” that there are other things to do, and having the time blocked off helps the busy brain feel more relaxed that there is time for the task at hand. Challenge: Take a task that you are working on whether it be a small seder of learning, a project at work, a chore around the house, or a family dinner and decide that you will do it with a “deep work” mentality by removing all distractions. Plan ahead to have no distractions and focus for the full allocated time you set aside. See if the saved attention residue from not switching tasks makes a difference in efficiency, time spent, and brain usage.

Have comments or thoughts on this week's bullets? Have other random thoughts on your mind? Send an email to torahparallels@gmail.com. Thank you!